


¿Por qué no los dos?

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, M/M, Size Kink, Stuffing, Tentabulge and Nook, Threesome - M/M/M, homesmut fill, timeline what timeline?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 05:35:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6106568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The OTHER fic where the Grand Highblood summons some poor hapless souls for a threesome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	¿Por qué no los dos?

**Author's Note:**

> [Homestuck prompt:](http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/40248.html?thread=47263544#cmt47263544) I don't know, man, I see all these fics with a bulgecentric GHB who is focused on giving it, I want to see one who's all about taking it. The more bulge in his nook, the motherfucking better, and if a motherfucker think that makes him weak _then they had better fucking rethink it._
> 
> Pre-read by spacecadetomoly.

The Grand Highblood pulled the artificial bone bulge out of his nook and threw it at his funblock wall. The device broke on impact but he didn’t care. He could afford all the toys he wanted. He lifted his massive body off the mating platform, feeling sore but not sore enough. As he moved, he accidentally kicked the bucket. It was an empty bucket so it didn’t matter. His night felt ruined and it hadn’t even passed twelve.

He had been so excited at sunset when he received his new toy after waiting a half-perigee for it. However, he had been dutiful enough to go to work that evening. At the earliest opportunity, he took a long “nutrition break” and rushed to his funblock. He opened the package and carefully put the device together. His nook had been wet all night so the device went in easily. Too easily, that is. The device wasn’t a complete piece of shit but he was disappointed. Though he’d had problems thinking about work all evening, when he laid down on the mating platform all he thought about was work. Eventually, he figured he was better off thinking about work in his workblock.

He wiped his nook but didn’t shower before putting on his clothes. Along the way to the workblock, he chomped on a beetle bar as his lunch. On his desk was the report he’d been thinking of while lying on the mating platform. It was about the Archeradicators branch. He took out a purple highlighter and read through the report. The report didn’t seem to tell him anything new; the Archeradicators were still boring musclebeast-obsessed ultra-loyalists. There was little chance an Archeradicator would ever do something amusing. Still, Grand Highblood felt like he had to read the whole report. Instead of highlighting important parts, he doodled bulges and nooks. When he finished reading the report, he threw that against the wall too.

The Grand Highblood played with a hanged-troll toy on his desk while pondering his sex life. He had long ago reached his reproduction quota. Many proud highblood continued donating genetic material in the hopes they would have more descendants to care on their glory. However, he thought the idea of more hims was scary. Another troll with his intelligence and strength would be a dangerous rival. Luckily, he knew any troll wearing his sign would get a capricorn as a lusus and those lusii were neglectful guardians.

Since he hadn’t required a matesprit or a kismesis in a long time, he’d let his quadrants go into disuse. It was hard dating when one was the Grand Highblood. There wasn’t any troll his equal. The closest was Condy and their relationship had fizzled out eons ago. (He shuddered at the idea of his Empress coming against an Heiress with their combined genes.) He hadn’t even taken any fuckbuddies recently. Even though he could have anyone he wanted, it was too risky. A fuckbuddy might get too attached. He had thought he could live with just masturbation but he was breaking down.

He thought about what he wanted in a potential fuckbuddy. When he was done, he pushed the buzzer on his desk. “Brother Bloodpen?”

A nasal voice replied, “Yes, your Capriciousness??”

“Get your ass in here.”

“Yes, your Capriciousness.”

Soon, the secruterrory was in the workblock. The Grand Highblood looked him over and wondered for the first time how big the fellow Subjugulator was under his codpiece. Even if the secruterrory did measure up, the Grand Highblood wouldn’t have sex with him unless a mating drone came knocking. The idea soon left the Grand Highblood’s think pan.

He said, “I need you to find a motherfucker.”

“What’s the motherfucker’s name??”

“I ain’t of knowledge of this, THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE FOR. I want to find out who in the officers corps has THE BIGGEST BONE BULGE.”

“I’m sure as Paradise Planet that motherfucker is you!!” the secruterrory replied quickly and brightly.

This only made the Grand Highblood narrow his eyes. “Get your SMELL SLOPE out of my WASTE CHUTE, Brother Bloodpen. You ain’t getting out of this project THAT EASILY.”

“I wasn’t meaning to, your Capriciousness.”

“I want a motherfucker with a bone bulge over TWELVE INCHES. In fact, I want a motherfucking LIST of candidate. AT LEAST TWENTY CANDIDATES.”

“Yes, your Capriciousness!!”

“And I want them to be as LOYAL as a motherfucking SAINT.”

“Yes, your Capriciousness.”

“And they better be attractive. I DON’T WANT NO UGLIES.”

The secruterrory cocked his head. “What is your motherfuckin’ criteria, your Capriciousness??”

The Grand Highblood shrugged. “Just don’t have them look like you.”

The secruterrory frowned. “Oh, okay.”

“Now GET GOING.”

The secruterrory made a double W sign before backing out. The Grand Highblood figured the wise secruterrory could tell his boss didn’t have a “scientific” interest but the secruterrory was too discreet to say anything.

It took a perigee for the Grand Highblood to get results, but he was patient. He reminded his secruterrory nightly but he didn’t push down on him. He wanted his secruterrory to do the best search possible. Privately, the Grand Highblood was anxious. He stretched himself out nightly with a series of nook plugs. His nook was already large, befitting his seven foot frame and matching his large bulge, but he wanted it larger.

Finally, the Grand Highblood got on his desk exactly twenty folders. He didn’t dismiss his secruterrory before reading the folders. The folders were very detailed, except for the last one. The twentieth candidate was a lowblood, though a surprisingly high-ranking officer. Medical information on him was scanty but his bone bulge was all the gossip. Still, the Grand Highblood might have passed him by if it weren’t for the candidate’s wicked good lucks. The camera loved this motherfucker!

Still, the Grand Highblood was caught on another candidate. The indigoblood candidate was higher ranked than the lowblood, being a general in the Archeridicators. The Grand Highblood had actually met him at a function. He had found the indigoblood a huge unfunny bore. Despite the indigoblood’s lackluster personality, the Grand Highblood now found himself drawn to him now that he had found out the indigoblood’s secrets. The Archeridicator general bought hoofbeast costumes and accessories. He had told people he foolishly trusted that he believed himself to be a reincarnation of that beast, along with a long improbable list of other persons and objects. His beliefs were blasphemy but they were so funny they went the other way to become truths. The “otherkin” certainly had the bulge of a hoofbeast. It wasn’t just rumors in his case; during a medical exam, he had fully unsheathed. The Grand Highblood had to ride him.

Both candidates looked so motherfucking good. The Grand Highblood wondered how he could choose one. Then he realized he was the motherfucking Grand Highblood and he didn’t have to limit himself to one. He looked up at the secruterrory, who was giving out delicious waves of fear.

“Now number twenty...” the Grand Highblood began.

“I’m motherfucking afraid I only put him in to round out the list, your Capriciousness!!” the secruterrory said.

“...I WANT HIM HERE.”

The secruterrory held up a finger like he was about to object but he put it down and instead nodded his head.

“And I want number nine.”

The secruterrory looked more certain. “I’ll schedule those appointments.”

“ONE APPOINTMENT. I want them BOTH at the SAME TIME.”

“Oh. What motherfucking time should they come??”

“Within a perigee segment. Sometime in the morning, at the end of the night. ACTUALLY, I want them to wait at least a motherfuckin’ hour first.”

“Yes, your Capriciousness.”

“But don’t tell the motherfuckers they got the same appointment.”

“Yes, your Capriciousness.”

So the secruterrory went out and scheduled the dual appointments. The Grand Highblood continued to wear nook plugs.

The night came. In the throne block, the Grand Highblood watched via close-circuit television the waiting block. Candidate Nine was there first. He sat down and took out a thick book to read. The outfit he’d worn at the function did little justice to his body compared to the Archeridicator bodysuit he currently wore. The Grand Highblood just wished the Archeridicator didn’t wear dark goggles.

Next came in Candidate Twenty, who had problems getting in because of his horns. He did look handsome through the camera. He sat down across from the other candidate and took out a troll anime fan magazine. Apparently, he was too pre-occupied to read, judging by his fidgeting. After only five minutes, he put away the magazine and looked up at Candidate Nine.

He started, “Hello, sir...”

Candidate Nine looked up from his book. “I am Executer Darkleer, lowblood.”

“I’m called the Summoner...I’m a captain in the Cavelreapers.”

“And I am a general. Good night,” Darkleer said before going back to his book.

“Oh. Good night.” The Summoner went back to his magazine.

Back in the throne block, the Grand Highblood started reading an unrelated report while keeping an eye on the monitor. After fifteen minutes, he heard something new from the monitor.

“So, general, what time is your appointment?” the Summoner asked.

“If you must know, lowblood, it is at five.”

“Five? That’s when my appointment is...are you sure you got the right time?”

“Of horse, I am certain, lowblood.”

The Summoner scratched the back of his neck. “Do you think we’re both going to see the GHB together?”

“What business would his Capriciousness have that would involve both of us? We are of wildly different branches and stations.”

“Well...do YOU know what business he’s called YOU for?”

“I wouldn’t dare guess what is on the mind of the Grand Highblood, but it’s likely to be the bow-string increase for which I’ve been petitioning our Imperious Condescension for an entire sweep. Very important business.”

“I figure the GHB called me because my unit found a cave of dragons two perigee segments ago.”

“What would that have to do with the commander of the Laughassassins?”

“It’s technically on their property...but we want the eggs.”

“Too bad for you then. The Laughassassins own those dragons.”

“Why? They can’t use them...and we need to pick up the eggs fast.”

“Hopefully for you, he’ll see you this sweep.”

“I do have hope...it didn’t take him long to schedule an appointment...and you’ve been waiting how long for this appointment?”

“I was scheduled for this appointment only a perigee segment ago.”

“So maybe you’re several perigees early?”

“If anyone is on a perigee-long waiting list, it would be you, lowblood.”

The Summoner stood up. “I’m not ‘lowblood’, General, I’m ‘captain’...and my issues is as red hot as my Mohawk...while your bow-string sh’t can wait a few sweeps.”

The indigoblood stood up and he was taller than the lowblood, though the lowblood wasn’t too shabby height-wise.

“A highblood always goes before a lowblood, no matter the issue. I am 100% guaranteed to see his Capriciousness tonight, whereas you might never see him in your short brownblood life.”

The Summoner sat back down, crossed his long legs, and took out his magazine. “We’ll see...when we see.”

The short scene ended but the Grand Highblood enjoyed it immensely. The indigoblood and the brownblood showed great chemistry. The Grand Highblood looked forward to seeing them both step into his throne block. Yet for now, he wanted them to sweat it out while they waited.

For Darkleer, this was literal. His face grew shiny under the camera. Every couple minutes, he wiped himself with a handkerchief. When the scheduled minute came, he looked at his watch and briefly smiled. His smile faded as no one came to get him. Meanwhile, the Summoner paced and wrung his hands.

It was a little over thirty minutes after the scheduled time when the Summoner spoke up.

“Maybe the GHB isn’t gonna see either of us,” he said bitterly as he paced, “Maybe GHB is playing a clown joke.”

“If I have to call you a captain,” Darkleer said, “You have to call our host something better than a set of initials.”

The Summoner threw up his hands. “Everyone calls him GHB! The newspapers call him that!”

“The newspapers have space constraints. You have enough time to say Grand Highblood or His Capriciousness.”

“I’ll call him that...if I ever get to meet him...”

“It is His Capriciousness’ right to refuse to meet us for any reason.” He gripped the arm rests. “No matter that it took several nights for me to get here...and stay at a disgusting hotel...with a tiny shower stall...watered-down sopor...no decent ambrosia-selling establishments in this goshdarn capital...” He looked down at the arm rest. “Oh fudge.”

The Grand Highblood figured it was time to let the two off the hook and put them on a new hook. Otherwise, the two would destroy his waiting block. He had his receptionist go get them. When she told them they both were to come in, their look was as delicious as the Grand Highblood had hope it would be. Still, the two didn’t argue. The Grand Highblood put away the monitor and set up some different furniture.

When the two visitors entered, the Grand Highblood was naked on his throne. The waiting game was all the foreplay he needed. His bone bulge was almost completely out. The two visitors were their respective blood colors all over. They seemed too caught off-guard to prostate themselves.

Finally, the Summoner asked, “Did we catch you at a bad time, your Capriciousness?”

Darkleer turned to the Summoner and hissed, “Don’t speak until you are spoken to, lowblood!”

The Summoner turned to Darkleer. “We can’t bicker here!”

The Grand Highblood chuckled. “Ain’t no bad time, MOTHERFUCKERS. Come up here.”

The two walked forward until they were right at the throne. The Grand Highblood noted that the Summoner in real life was just as attractive as his electronic image. Darkleer wasn’t as fortunate but the Grand Highblood sure loved watching Darkleer’s muscles move in that bodysuit.

“Now y’all probably wondering why I brought you here,” the Grand Highblood said.

They both nodded. The Grand Highblood couldn’t tell where Darkleer was looking but the Summoner was definitely looking straight at the Grand Highblood’s wiggling crotch.

The Grand Highblood continued, “I hear y’all have BIG BULGES.”

Darkleer quickly answered, “Yours is bigger, your Capriciousness.”

The Grand Highblood laughed. “We’ll see about that. STRIP.”

Darkleer immediately went to work. However, the Summoner just stood there.

“Um...are we going to talk about the dragons?” he squeaked out.

The Grand Highblood shrugged. “Maybe later. THAT AND THE BOWSTRINGS.”

Darkleer looked up briefly at that before he continued stripping. The Summoner took a few heavy breaths before he started undoing his boots.

Meanwhile, his fellow visitor was naked with his bone bulge already unsheathing. His body was a complete miracle. The sight almost distracting the Grand Highblood from his lowblood visitor. Eventually, the Grand Highblood looked over to see the Summoner still wearing his shirt.

“The shirt too, LOWBLOOD,” the Grand Highblood growled.

The Summoner sighed. He unsnapped his shirt and underneath was a white binder.

“Um,” said the Summoner, “My mediculler said I have to leave this on...”

“And I motherfucking OVERRULE your mediculler. TAKE OFF THE BINDER.”

“I have a REALLY UGLY mutation...not anything defective...just...weird.”

“TAKE OFF THE BINDER OR ELSE.”

The Summoner glumly unsnapped his binder. The Grand Highblood was excited to obtain the knowledge of this troll’s secret, even though the secret threatened to ruin the mood. However, underneath the binder was a beautiful set of wings.

“That ain’t ugly, boy,” the Grand Highblood said, “THAT’S THE WICKED BITCHTITS.”

“You won’t kill me?”

“I ain’t gonna snuff out a miracle...”

The Summoner let out a deep breath.

“...UNLESS THAT MIRACLE LIGHTS A FIRE,” the Grand Highblood finished.

“Light a fire?”

“If motherfuckers find out you have wings EVERYONE WILL WANT THEM. You better keep them under wraps OR I’LL RIP THEM OFF PERSONALLY.”

“Yes, your Capriciousness.”

Despite the Grand Highblood sparing the Summoner, the Summoner still had fear coming off of him. The Grand Highblood didn’t consider it odd the Summoner wasn’t relieved. The mutant lowblood now knew his life was in the hands of the Capricious.

“But enough with the wings, fairy boy,” the Grand Highblood said, “GET OUT YOUR BULGE!”

The Summoner closed his eyes and bit his lip. He took his fingerless gloved hand and rubbed it along his sheath. The tip started to come out but it was all too slow for the Grand Highblood.

“Indigoblood!” he yelled, pointing at Darkleer, “Go down on this chocolate blood.”

Darkleer had been staring at the Summoner but now he looked back at the Grand Highblood. “Go...down?”

The Grand Highblood gestured with his tongue. At the sight, Darkleer reared back but soon got on his knees in front of the slightly-shorter troll. When Darkleer’s head was between the Summoner’s thighs, the Summoner shivered.

“Ahh...that tickles...” he mumbled, “Ahh! Ahhh!”

Maybe it wasn’t the first time Darkleer had given head, since the Summoner’s bulge finally fully extended under his care. The chocolate brown bulge was worth waiting for. It was thick like its owner’s horns, so thick it was unable to wrap around the Summoner’s wrist. The Grand Highblood could feel the heat coming off of it from where he was sitting and he couldn’t wait to feel that heat in his nook.

Darkleer still kneeled before the Summoner in an inversion of the spectrum. His goggles were covered in pre-material.

“Take off those shitty goggles, motherfucker,” the Grand Highblood said.

Darkleer turned from the Summoner’s crotch to his Capriciousness’ face. He took off his goggles to reveal bloodshot and vulnerable eyes. The folder said that Darkleer had some medical problem with his eyes. The Grand Highblood thought it just looked like Darkleer smoked up some catnip. No, thought the Grand Highblood, if Darkleer did he’d be more fun at parties.

“STAND UP,” the Grand Highblood said.

Darkleer stood before the Grand Highblood. Darkleer’s bone bulge was fully-out and it was longer by at least two inches than his lowblood comrade. It wasn’t as thick, though it did have highblood ridges.

“You got a nice wiggly on you,” the Grand Highblood said.

Darkleer put his hands in front of his crotch, though it didn’t hide the wiggly. “Thank you, your Capriciousness.”

“...TOO BAD YOU WISH YOU HAD A STIFF HOOFBEAST BULGE.”

The look on Darkleer’s face told the Grand Highblood he was right. The Summoner gave his highblood comrade the side-eye.

The Grand Highblood continued, “Luckily, I’m riding your ass today SO YOU CAN BE THE HOOFBEAST.”

Darkleer looked at the Grand Highblood’s crotch. The Grand Highblood could tell what Darkleer was thinking. The purpleblood’s bone bulge wasn’t as big as the two bone bulges before him, but it was big enough to make a troll nervous. Still, the Grand Highblood preferred using his nook.

“Relax,” he said to as he played with himself, “You ain’t gonna have to take my bulge. I’M TAKING YOURS.”

“My indigoblood bulge?” Darkleer asked.

“But will I have to take your bulge?” the Summoner asked.

The tyrant held up two fingers and pointed them outwards. “Both your bulge, BOTH AT ONCE.”

Darkleer cried out, “But surely only one bulge can fit in you! Why not take only my bulge and use the lowblood’s nook?”

“Hey!” the lowblood snapped, “Why do I have to take the bulge?”

Darkleer turned to the Summoner. “Because you are the lower one.” His head snapped back to the Grand Highblood. “Not that there is anything wrong with using your nook, your Capriciousness.”

“You’re damn right there isn’t,” the tyrant said, “IT’S MY NOOK AND I WANT AS MUCH BULGE IN IT AS POSSIBLE. Now stop your bitching!”

“Yes, your Capriciousness,” they both replied.

The Grand Highblood stood up and towered over the two visitors. He pulled a cord, and a curtain by his throne pulled away, revealing a portable mating platform. The visitors gasped.

“Is that STRONG enough to hold three full-sized trolls?” Darkleer asked.

“It better be,” the tyrant answered, “OR THE MANUFACTURER’S HEAD WILL ROLL.”

The Grand Highblood walked over to the platform, his visitors following. Darkleer fondled the platform but the Summoner stood back.

The tyrant said, “Darkleer! LAY DOWN ON THE PLATFORM.”

Darkleer looked up from the platform to the Grand Highblood. He then quickly obeyed the Grand Highblood’s orders. The platform showed no signs of stress.

The Grand Highblood continued, “Scoot over to the edge...THERE.”

Darkleer’s legs hung over the edge of the platform and his bulge was still out. The Grand Highblood got on the straddled over Darkleer’s crotch. Finally, he reached up and took out the nook plug that had been his companion for so long. The pop echoed in the throneblock. The Summoner’s eyes widen as the Grand Highblood held it up for all to see. The Grand Highblood turned his head around to look at Darkleer, and Darkleer was equally surprised.

“Don’t think his Capriciousness HASN’T BEEN PREPARED,” the Grand Highblood said.

He tossed the heavy nook plug to the Summoner. The shocked Summoner caught it only to drop it seconds later. It made a thud when it hit the floor.

Meanwhile, Darkleer’s bulge tickled along the Grand Highblood’s thighs. The Grand Highblood’s nook was clenching, desperately wanting to be filled again, and the teasing just made it worse. The Grand Highblood turned his head around.

“JUST GET IT IN!” he yelled.

“Your Capriciousness...” Darkleer muttered.

Grumbling, the Grand Highblood took the indigo bulge in his hands and guided it towards his purple nook. The indigo bulge, being more obedient than its owner, sought the nook. The narrow tip easily went in the fully-stretched orifice. It wiggled its way in and soon the Grand Highblood enjoyed having his nook re-filled again. At that moment, he wished his nook would always be full. Yet the indigo bulge wasn’t in far enough. He looked down to see half of it still outside.

“TRY HARDER,” the tyrant boomed.

He could hear the deep inhale of breath behind him and then an almost whinnying noise as Darkleer tried harder. With each inch, the indigo bulge got wider. The Grand Highblood could feel every bump pass his seed flap. The tip of the indigo bulge pressed against his genetic sacs and the strange but not all together unpleasant sensation made the Grand Highblood shiver. The tip of the indigo bulge stretch out the upper limits of the nook before it was forced to double back on itself. It was possibly the first time Darkleer’s poor bulge had ever completely been in someone. This record-breaking bulge could have been enough for the Grand Highblood. Yet the Grand Highblood hadn’t invited the Cavalreaper captain all this way just to stare dumbly at his stretched-out nook.

The tyrant pointed at his nook. “GET IN HERE.”

The Summoner walked slowly, so painfully slow, up to the platform. He put one warm hand on the Grand Highblood’s thigh and another one on the base of his impossible-to-grip brown bulge.

“I’ve...never managed to get this in anyone,” the Summoner muttered.

“There’s a first time FOR EVERY MOTHERFUCKING THING,” the Grand Highblood replied.

To make sure there was the slightest chance of a first time, the Grand Highblood wedged two fingers in his nook. He spread the fingers out just enough that the modest tip of the lowblood’s bulge could enter. His other hand grabbed the least thick part of the bulge it could and guided the reluctant pitcher. The tip managed to get in. It was so warm next to the cold bulge already there.

“See?” said the Grand Highblood, “IT GOT IN.”

The Summoner grinned proudly. His fear was gone. Soon, he started pushing his way in without a care. The purple nook was stretched out even farther. The pain, which was at a reasonable level before, now threatened to drive the Grand Highblood over the edge. He hadn’t been in this much pain since his hazing so many centuries ago. Yet he had survived his hazing and he would survive this. Actually, he had left the hazing with a wiggly.

“DON’T MOVE SO MUCH,” the Grand Highblood hissed, “Let me get my acclimation on.”

“My bad,” the Summoner mumbled.

Without being asked, the Summoner started playing with the Grand Highblood’s bulge. The Grand Highblood may have preferred his nook but right now those warm, gentle hands on his bulge was the top.

The pain faded away and was replaced with a high no Faygo or catnip could top. He felt like he was floating away. Yet he was still with it enough to hear the hoofbeast-like noises of Darkleer and the adorable look of concentration on the Summoner’s face. He drank in the emotions of the overwhelmed peasantbloods and he wanted to make more. His chucklevoodoos took away a little inhibition from the Summoner.

“Hey, general,” the Summoner cried, “I think my bulge is bigger than yours!”

The Grand Highblood couldn’t see Darkleer’s face but he could hear the outraged spurting.

“Rid-ridiculous! I-I am obviously superior to you, lowblood!”

The Grand Highblood said, “From where I’m standing, THE SHITBLOOD IS RIGHT.”

“Um, well, perhaps it looks that way on his much smaller frame, your Capriciousness.”

“Hey!” the Summoner shouted, “I’m six – huh - five!”

“I’m – I am your better by two inches.”

“But – huh - I got bigger horns than you!”

“Hor-horizontal horns are a design flaw. All horns should be vertical.”

“Ahh - I’ll break off your horns, arrowhead!”

“You wouldn’t dare, lowblood!”

“I wouldn’t – huh - it be a favor, to you? Right? You wanna be a hornless hoofbeast?”

“HOOF-HOOFBEASTS ARE NOBLE!”

“I – ahh - RIDE f’king hoofbeasts for a living!”

The troll in the middle chimed in, “You wanna RIDE Darkleer after this?”

The cavalreaper’s eyes widened. He looked more sheepish than a woolbeast. “’m sorry...for fighting, your Capriciousness.”

Meanwhile, Darkleer asked, “Will I be horsed to?”

The Grand Highblood said, “Your mating life IS YOURS. But if you fight, I KNOW WHO WILL WIN.”

The two visitors both said, “Thank you, your Capriciousness.”

His Capriciousness laughed. The indigoblood and the brownblood could easily kill each other with their bulges.

Only a few minutes later, the chucklevoodoo master could sense the two of them get closer. He wasn’t nearly as close and could do with just a little more time, but he wasn’t about to take two loads at once. He’d been stupid enough to be the bucket once and he wasn’t going to do that again.

“TIME TO GET OUT, boys,” he said.

The Summoner moved backwards. “I...I think I’m stuck.”

Behind the Grand Highblood, Darkleer said, “I too am not certain I can evacuate.”

The Grand Highblood lifted his heavy body up. A few inches came out of him but not enough. He took his fingers and eased out the slightly-thinner bulge. Though he relaxed his nook, it kept clenching the now-free space. He felt again every bump go over his sensitive seedflap until the indigo bulge was all out. His nook was now filled with just warm lowblood bulge.

“EASY DOES IT,” he crooned.

Unfortunately, the Summoner took the chance to quickly retract his bulge. The Grand Highblood felt like his nook was being pulled inside out. The lowblood added to his sin by spraying his brown material all over the Grand Highblood’s face.

“Oh gawd, oh gawd, I’m soo sorry,” the Summoner moaned throughout his copious orgasm.

Darkleer panted, “Foolish...lowblood...going before his...”

But before the indigoblood could say anything more, his bulge sprayed cold liquid all over the Grand Highblood. He apologized all the way. However, the Grand Highblood was more amused than offended. What fools they were, he thought.

Last but certainly not least, the Grand Highblood had his grand orgasm. It wracked his entire body. His nook was imploding. It was like he hadn’t come in a perigee even though he hadn’t been denying himself the pleasure. When he was done, he almost fell over, but he had enough strength left to get off the platform. He had walked off worse injuries before.

Darkleer rolled himself off the platform. He took out his sylladex a stack of white towels and a canister of extra-large wet wipes. If the Grand Highblood didn’t know better, he would have thought Darkleer expected to get laid tonight. However, the Grand Highblood knew it was just glands. Darkleer dutifully presented a towel to his tyrant. The Summoner took a towel too and Darkleer gave him an irritated look but said nothing.

The Summoner asked, “Um...about the dragons...?”

“And the bowstrings, your Capriciousness?” Darkleer asked.

The Grand Highblood snorted. “Talk to the motherfucking receptionist on the way out AND SCHEDULE ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING MEETING.”

The two visitors looked disappointed.

The Grand Highblood clapped them both on the shoulders. “Don’t tell me you motherfuckers didn’t like this?”

The visitors nodded rapidly.

The Grand Highblood took some wipes and cleaned himself. “THE COLOR ON ME CONFIRMS IT. Now get y’all clothes on.”

The three cleaned up the best they could. The Summoner’s miracle mutation was again covered by a binder. The Grand Highblood put on a terrycloth robe from his sylladex while the visitors put their clean clothes over their dirty bodies. The Grand Highblood noticed them taking glances at each other. Then Darkleer put back on his goggles and his eyes became a mystery again.

The Grand Highblood put a pillow down on his throne before sitting on it. Even with the pillow, his body still hurt. Yet he announced regally, “Y’all motherfuckers are DISMISSED.”

“Thank you for the audience,” they both said together before looking at each other.

The two visitors backed out of the block, but before they could go, the tyrant said, “But y’all BETTER see the receptionist, YOU HEAR?”

The two nodded before finally leaving.

The Grand Highblood turned on the monitor again. Soon, Darkleer and the Summoner shuffled into waiting block.

“So, general,” the Summoner began, “You say your hotel is lame?”

Darkleer replied firmly, “It is what I was assigned.”

“Yeah, I know...but maybe you can hang out at my hotel...for a little while. It’s got a sweet bar...can get some ambrosia.”

“Ambrosia you say?”

“Yeah, we can get a drink...or two.”

“Are you coming on to me, lowblood?”

The Summoner looked down at his shoes. “Well, we do have a...connection...I think?”

Darkleer put his hand on his chin. “I do feel a connection. It is as if in a previous life, we had a deep romantic relationship. Possibly we were bounded mates? And you provided me with numerous offspring?”

The Summoner held up his palms. “I’m just saying we have some chemistry...sexual chemistry.”

“That also.” He grinned briefly. “As deviant as this all is, I feel we should explore this.”

“So you’ll come with me to the bar?”

“Block service is also a possibility we could explore.”

“I like the way you think, general.”

“Lead us on our trail, captain.”

The Summoner clapped his arm around Darkleer’s shoulder as they left.

“Call me Rufioh, general,” the Summoner said.

“And I am Horuss.”

The Grand Highblood as his two favorite bone bulges left together. He would have to keep an eye on those two. For now, he had a very long hot bath to enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> And they all eventually died.


End file.
